My kiddos are too young to say if I'm right or wrong, but I'm trying my best to do exactly what my mom and step-dad did... sans all the Jehobie Poop.
Ripley Strategy to Rear Kids to be Happy Adults
*Everybody works. No free ride, starting at a young age, e.g., cleaing rooms, garbage detail up to working after school and Saturdays. You will buy your own ride and pay for your own insurance.
*Life ain't fair and it's never been fair, get over it. If you want something go and earn it. The only reason you get something is because you worked for it. If you got it for some other way it won't be worth having.
*Sir and Ma'am to adults/elders. You'll give respect because you have respect for yourself.
*No adulation. If you've gone above and beyond we'll tell you what an awesome job you've done; if you've done what you were supposed to do, okay. You don't get a pat on the back for just doing your job. Do better next time.
*No, you're not perfect, you will make mistakes and I will let you make them. Hopefully you'll learn from them. If you don't then you'll make them again.
*The rod will not be spared. You'll know exactly why you're being spanked. It will be swift and commensurate to your bad action
*You will get self-esteem by earning it through hard, difficult challenges, not from a bunch of sissies telling you that "you're the best/you're great." That works for a while then you figure out that everyone is "great" which means that everyone is the same. You are not the same.
I don't know if it'll work or not but it sure worked for me. I love my life and all that I've learned. Thanks, Mom and Ol' Man.